“The secret to good foreplay is understanding your partner in a very full capacity. Understanding not only who they are and how they communicate, but also, how do they want to feel during sex?

We want to lead people toward feeling safe, secure, feeling good, and feeling connected, so they are mentally ready to have sex.”

Marla Renee Stewart

How can we feel more empowered in exploring our sexual desires? If our sex life is dead, how can we bring it back alive? How do we keep passion alive in the long term? 

Find out in this week’s episode of The Learn to Love Podcast, where your host Zach Beach interviews sexologist Marla Renee Stewart on Keeping Your Sex Life Alive.

Ep 34: Keeping Your Sex Life Alive with Marla Renee Stewart, MA

 Listen on:

Apple Podcasts || Stitcher || TuneIn || Google Podcasts || Spotify || Amazon Music || Castbox

about Marla Renee Stewart

Sexologist Marla Renee Stewart, MA, is a sexpert for Lovers adult wellness brand & retailer. Marla is a professional sexologist, intimacy/relationship/sex coach, speaker, and author. She is the owner of Velvet Lips, a sexuality education company, as well as Contract Liberation, a company focused on research for non-profit groups.

As a faculty member at Clayton State University, she teaches Sociology and Women’s and Gender Studies. As the Co-Founder of the Sex Down South Conference, Marla aims to bring diverse groups together to learn and share their experiences in the essence of being authentic and fostering sexual liberation across communities.

Marla has studied human sexuality for over 19 years, has educated over 20,000 people in over 13 years, has given over 400 workshops, and has served over 100 clients in her private practice, all around the world. Marla has had her influence in the media, as well; she has written over 200 articles, featured in over 20 magazines and books, and has been on over 30 podcasts and independent television shows. 

She co-wrote her first book, The Ultimate Guide to Seduction & Foreplay (2020) with Dr. Jessica O’Reilly and is currently writing a chapter and co-editing An Intersectional Approach to Sex Therapy, coming in 2021.

Stay connected with Marla Renee Stewart:

Website || Twitter|| Marla’s Instagram || Velvet Lips Instagram

Learn more about Lovers Adult Wellness Brand and Retailer:

Website || Twitter|| Instagram || Facebook

Links from the show

show notes

  • In this episode, we talk about seduction styles, the obstacles and the solutions to keep your sex life alive.
  • Different type of sex (3:50) – We often think about sex as penis-vagina contact, but we know that sex is not only that. There are so many different aspect of sex, but we only are used to talk about the same one. Sex beings starts 24 hours, or even a week, before sex.
  • Seduction style (8:30) – Some people are more tactile, some are visual, some are aural. We need to adapt to the other person and learn about the other to communicate in their seduction style. To know what is their seduction style, try to talk with the person, be careful of the little indicators. For example, If the person asks you a massage after work, the person might be a tactile person.
  • Gender in seduction (13:00) – We need to get out of the binary thinking. The seduction style communication is really about this, seduction is a form of communication and it does not depend of the gender. Being aware of yourself is the key, what is sexy about you?
  • Obstacles (17:35) – Sometime, there are obstacles in our sexual life. Ask yourself what are your values, your boundaries, your desires. If you know them, you will be able to communicate with your partner. Shame can be a big obstacle, it is important to work on it. Understand what kind of stimulation you need. It is important to have knowledge about your body and explore it.
  • Sex technology (27:00) – The taboo about sex technology is still there. To find the right toy we have to have awareness of our body.
  • Dead sex life (30:20) – The stress of everyday life can ruin your sex life. Communication can be lost when we have troubles in our life and this can have an impact on our sexual life. The lack of communication, or connection can affect also the sexual life. It is important to work on lowering stress and strengthening the foundation of the relationship. The last thing is to say yes!
  • Keep your sex life alive (39:00) – Introduce new things into the relationship, keep it fresh! If something is going wrong with you, communication with the partner is important. Keep exploring new parts of yourself and each other.

Sponsors

  • This episode is sponsored by Listenable, your home for powerful, bite-sized audio courses authored by well‑loved experts. Use the discount code “zachbeach” for the first seven days on the platform for free. And while you’re at it, sign up for our How To Be a Better Partner Course.

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