Our pleasure potential isn’t determined by how much pleasure we inundate ourselves with. It’s determined by how much displeasure we allow in our lives.
So if I’m running around having all the orgasms, and all the Epsom salt baths every night, that would be really nice, but if I’m choosing unhealthy people and unhealthy practices, if I’m saying yes to things that are harmful to my relationship, I’m basically drilling holes in my own boat.
And it’s important to note that pleasure gives us the fuel to fight for a just society. It’s so incredibly regulating for our nervous system, it’s healing. Pleasure also heals our relationships, whether with a person or a pet or a sunset, because it invites us out of ourselves and into a connection with a person or thing.
– Nischa Heron Phair
What is fawning? How do we find our authentic sexuality? How does trauma affect our ability to be in our bodies and in turn, experience pleasure?
Find out in this week’s episode of The Learn to Love Podcast, where your host Zach Beach interviews the incredible author, researcher, and sex educator, Nischa Heron Phair on Your Guide to Fawning.
Listen on:
Apple Podcasts || Stitcher || TuneIn || Google Podcasts || Spotify || Amazon Music || Castbox
About Nischa Heron Phair
Nischa Heron Phair is an author, researcher, traumainformed sex educator and the founder of SomaBody Trauma Informed Pleasure Work®. She has been a trauma-informed teacher, facilitator and embodiment coach for 14 years working with thousands of clients in that time. Nischa initially began studying the connections between fawning and sex in 2016 to better understand her own experiences. She now works almost exclusively with female survivors and those recovering from toxic relationships to help them address fawning during intimacy and heal their relationships to pleasure.
Fawn: When No Looks Like Yes is the first book to ever be written about fawning in the context of sex and consent. In addition to sounding the alarm, Phair attempts to answer the million-dollar question: “how can sex and intimacy thrive in a post-#metoo, postpandemic reality?” Part exposé, part self-study guide, part memoir, “Fawn” is a rousing call to celebrate our authentic sexuality and to invite more intention and integrity into our sex lives and relationships, whether they be casual or long term.
Stayed connected with Nischa Heron Phair:
Links from the show
- Biobehavioral responses to stress in females: tend-and-befriend, not fight-or-flight
- 7 Subtle Signs Your Trauma Response Is People-Pleasing
- 5 Ways to Build a More Secure Attachment Style
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